What Growing A Moustache Taught Me About Friendship.

For the month of November, I grew (am rising) a moustache.

I haven’t had facial hair for the reason that final time I grew a moustache, which was three years in the past.

There’re every kind of nuisances and annoyances of getting a moustache. Those small, coarse hairs annihilate my higher lip like a band of ninjas, stabbing my face with their tiny sword-like factors. And the itching…oh, how I detest the itching. The itching is dangerous sufficient, however after I go to scratch I get attacked once more from the tiny ninja squad. Oh, the woes of manhood…

But there’s one thing else that’s additionally a bit annoying. Growing this candy ‘stache has revealed but once more, that:

People don’t say what they really suppose.

Having a moustache on one’s face will be fairly provocative…particularly when there’s not one usually there. I usually do double-takes when passing a mirror, nearly frightened by the picture. Is cop from the 80’s or a legal? A cop from the 80’s, in fact.

As a few of it’s possible you’ll know, November (or Movember, because it’s referred to as) is males’s well being consciousness month. It’s a possibility to carry consciousness to issues like prostate and testicular most cancers. And what higher strategy to carry consciousness than rising a moustache!

But right here’s the issue: I don’t discuss prostate most cancers or males’s well being points except somebody brings up my moustache. Not as a result of I don’t wish to, however as a result of I usually overlook the moustache is even on my face!

But I’m undecided what I’ve been extra bothered by: not bringing consciousness to males’s well being points or individuals ignoring I’ve a moustache.

Here’s are three completely different responses from individuals this month:

#1 – Pretend it doesn’t exist.

This is by far the most well-liked stance.

“Oh, HEY Derek! I didn’t see you there!”

Didn’t see me? I look precisely the identical. I’m simply exercising my facial-hair-follicle-freedom. I’ve rights, you already know!

There’s all the time this temporary pause earlier than a pal or member of the family says good day or embraces me. It’s like they’re making an attempt to determine if what’s on my higher lip is on objective or not. I imply, if it weren’t, I’m SURE they’d attempt to assist me out.

“Hey man, you’ve got a caterpillar crawling across your face or something…kind of looks like a moustache.”

No duh.

#2 – Pretend it’s the good factor on the earth.

“Nice work, Derek! Rockin’ the moustache…I like it.”

Don’t mislead me. Seriously. I don’t even prefer it. If I don’t prefer it, certainly you don’t prefer it. It’s form of bizarre (not less than at this stage…not-quite-full-grown-‘stache stage). If you had a daughter, you’d most likely attempt to defend her for worry of me being a creeper.

I guarantee you, I’m not.

#three – Pretend you’re my actual pal and inform me the reality.

Only one particular person did this. While most prevented the apparent, and some sprinkled on some moustache glory, one pal supported me with the reality.

He laughed out loud when he noticed me.

I’m not speaking a couple of giggle or snicker. No, no…these are method too light of phrases.

He stomach laughed…for a very good period of time…earlier than he may even converse. And when he did converse, he stated…

“What is on your FACE?!”

Now that’s a real pal. Someone who will inform you like it’s. Someone who isn’t afraid to harm your emotions, your pleasure, or your manhood.

Someone who tells you the reality even whenever you’re making an attempt to do one thing for a very good trigger.

Why don’t individuals say what they actually suppose or really feel? Why can we keep away from speaking what we really wish to say?

My concept? Lack of connection.

When you’re actually linked to somebody, you’re susceptible. But vulnerability poses a risk. When you’re susceptible, you’re open to getting damage. You’re deliberately leaving your self open to doable hurt.

But except we turn into susceptible, we’ll by no means actually really feel linked. And if we’re not linked, we’ll by no means really say or do what we expect.

I inform my spouse all the things. Absolutely all the things. All my victories and shortcomings are shared together with her. She is aware of the very best of me and the worst of me. And vice versa.

If I deliberately stored issues from her, I’d harm the connection. And of all of the individuals I would like to remain susceptible with, it’s my partner.

And the gorgeous factor about vulnerability and connection is the liberty that outcomes.

You can solely be free whenever you’re keen to be susceptible.

Yes, you’ll most likely get damage typically. But you’ll additionally expertise the deepest, most significant relationships of your life.

So the following time you see somebody rising a moustache or doing one thing completely different, don’t keep away from it or fake to love it.

Instead, ask some questions. Get some readability. You would possibly uncover deeper connection and freedom.

Derek is a gifted chief, author, speaker, musician, and visionary. He has been a justice filmmaker, pastor, monetary coach, songwriter, and an advocate for the unvoiced. He writes about gaining affect, main nicely, and connecting deeper at www.derekharvey.me. He resides within the Pacific Northwest along with his lovely spouse and daughter, whom he’s smitten with. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and his web site.