To say I’m a bit nervous about the whole adding a sibling to the family thing would be quite accurate, however I’m not nearly as nervous as I probably should be. I’m taking the lead from my 3-year-old, who is more ecstatic and understanding about the idea of a baby brother or sister than I could have ever imagined.
We told my son from the very beginning of this pregnancy that he was going to have a baby brother or sister, despite knowing the risks that were associated with telling a 3-year-old blabber mouth such important things. Even though he’s young, I never wanted it to be something that people talked about over his head or without his knowledge. I didn’t want him to find out from somebody else, and I didn’t want him to start having tons of questions without hearing it from us first.
When the day came to sit him down and spill the news, I had no idea how it would go over. Would we be met with screams of protest or shrieks of delight? And just how, exactly, do you explain pregnancy to a toddler? Without thinking too hard about it, we just said it, “You’re going to be a big brother.”
I thought his response would be full of “Huh’s?” and “What’s?,” but he immediately had a look of amazement on his face and said, “Really?” in the beautiful way of wonder only a 3-year-old can muster. From the very beginning he was nothing but excited. I was convinced it’d be this great big abstract thing that we’d be trying to explain to him for months, but no, he surprised us by understanding the pregnancy right from the get-go.
He didn’t ask many questions right away, which surprised me. As curious as he normally is, I thought for sure there’d be an onslaught. But he just went off and told Grandma and Grandpa and a few neighbors and strangers that he was going to be a big brother and from that day forward, it was a fact he was proud of.
The questions started a day or two later when we were on a long road trip together, just the two of us. As we sat stuck in a traffic jam, he randomly piped up with, “Hey Mommy, is my baby in your belly?”
When I answered yes, trying (and failing) to hide my surprise at this knowledge he had, he told me it was just like our friend that we’d seen at a fall festival who was pregnant at the time. I was shocked not only at his ability to put two and two together, but also that he remembered that one occurrence from nearly six months before.
I knew then that we might be getting to the harder questions sooner rather than later. And sure enough, soon after we got home from that trip, the tough ones started coming. I have no intention of lying to my son about any of it (or anything in general), but I’m also acutely aware that he’s 3 and there’s probably only so much he should hear and know (which means I’ve had to practice my creative answering skills lately).
Without any prompting from books or friends, he wants to know everything. And as the questions pour out of his mouth, I just sit in amazement at how much of such a big concept he understands and hope to goodness that we’re not going to completely rock his world come winter.
Here are 11 questions my toddler won’t stop asking about my pregnancy (and my sad attempts at answers) …
1. “Can we get the baby out yet?”
Nope, it’s not big enough yet. (See next question.)
2. “How big is my baby?”
Thiiiis big. **Accompanied by an arbitrary show of hands.** (If he’s not buying it, I quickly Google what size vegetable the baby is this week.)
3. “Is it snowing yet?”
Nope, it’s still summer and super hot. (This question is my fault, because I told him the baby will come in the winter and winter is when it gets cold and can snow.)
4. “How are we going to get the baby out?”
We’ll go the hospital and the doctor will help us. (Not a total lie.)
5. “Is it going to hurt you?”
Yeah, it’ll probably hurt a little bit. (Inside: heck yes, it’s going to hurt me!)
6. “Is the baby going to come out of your belly button?”
Do you think a baby will fit through my belly button?! **Hurries to distract before follow-up question.**
7. “Is the baby going to be able to play with me when he comes out?”
Not right away, but when he or she gets bigger!
8. “Will the baby eat my food?”
No, little babies only drink milk. He or she will learn to eat food later.
9. “Hey Mommy, can I share my toys with the baby?”
Yes, of course! (Please, please, let him remember he wanted to do this …)
10. “Why’s your belly SO big and how’s it going to get any bigger?”
It has a growing baby in it, and it’ll grow until the baby’s ready to stop growing. (This one is always followed by points and laughs from the 3-year-old.)
11. “Mommy, are you still sick? A little sick or a lot sick?”
(Apparently my morning sickness does not go unnoticed.)