After four years, multiple IVF cycles, four devastating miscarriages, and countless setbacks … Aela’s road to motherhood has been anything but easy. Follow her story on Babble and don’t miss the latest chapter in her journey below.
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Before I begin, let me be super clear: Saying childless women are awesome isn’t saying that women with children aren’t awesome. Childless women are awesome. Women with children are awesome. We’re all awesome. Now that that’s out of the way …
There are numerous reasons why women don’t have children, and it’s important to celebrate all of them and the paths they’ve taken, as well as cast aside any judgments we may have. So let’s raise our glasses (or sippy cups) to these women!
1. The World Traveler
Most of us likely dream of being this woman, at least at some point. This is the woman who spends her life traveling foreign lands, maybe staying in one place for a handful of months before heading off to her next grand adventure, and we spend time following her exciting life on Instagram. Kids just don’t mix well with her fiercely independent life, and she finds joy elsewhere — and everywhere.
2. The Nightlife Girl
We all know her. Maybe she plays in a band. Maybe she bartends. It’s likely this type of woman is only awake at sunrise because she’s on her way home and not because she’s waking up with the baby at 5 AM. She’s certainly no slave to the 9-5 grind and is rarely ever even awake by the time many of us start work. This night owl wouldn’t dream of falling into anything that remotely resembles “traditional,” and loves her life just the way it is.
3. The Social Objector
The world is overpopulated; the last thing she’d dream of doing is contribute to the problem. You’ll likely hear her say things like, “We can barely take care of all the kids that are in this world and should focus on the ones that are here, not make more.” She might even say that having children is selfish. She makes a pretty good point, over and over, but is often accused of just not getting it when it comes to things like “the joy children bring.”
4. The Career Woman
Sure, some say you can “have it all” — kids and a career — but she knows that’s not really true. For her to succeed in the way she’s determined to, she knows kids will hinder that plan. Yes, she sees a few high-profile career execs excel to top-tiered positions, but it’s not the norm, not even in 2016. Her work is her “baby.” Mothers might not see it that way, but she doesn’t seek their approval.
5. The Childless Not By Choice
Here’s the category I fall into. Four years of fertility treatments, and still no child. I admire the other women on this list, but I don’t want to be here. It’s not a choice for me. But I’m a warrior, like all women who battle infertility, and that’s what makes us awesome.
6. The “Not Yet” Woman
She could be in her 20’s, 30’s, or even 40’s, and knows that she’ll someday have kids — just not yet. Maybe she’s enjoying her time as one of the other women listed here, maybe she’s doing something else entirely. But for now, no kids for her. She often gets asked when she’ll have kids, and the pressure can be unbearable at times. She’ll meet women like me who suggest she wait no longer, those eggs are drying up after all, you know. But she’ll get to it. On her own time.
7. The “I Just Don’t” Woman
No reason needed. Or maybe she’s got a thousand reasons. Either way, women don’t have to explain their choices, and “I just don’t want kids” is enough.
Were you ever one of these types of childless women? Are you still?